sherwat: chrissykilljoybitchtits: inc-omparable: im-fandoomed: hitlervevo: why the fuck cant we text the police lets say there is a murderer in ur house and you’re hiding behind your sofa and you do have your phone with you but you can’t call the police because the murderer might hear you Here in Canada you can Here in England we just… scream and run Here in Scotland we paint our...
REBLOG IF ITS OKAY IF I PUT SOMETHING FUCKING...
ex-cuse-u: i was browsing through ellen degeneres’ youtube videos and when i was watching her interview segments i noticed a trend where she keeps the comments enabled for all of her adult interviews but when she has a child on the show she disables any of the comments to protect the child from any bullying or negative feedback and that is why she and her team of producers are incredible
Me: * sees book store * *looks to friend* *shuffles towards bookstore*
menmas-booty: menmas-booty: There is this kid in my school who dresses as sonic everyday and no one knows his name so everyone just calls him sonic. He also runs through the hallways like him too. For those who might doubt me
callmekitto: internetfeet: People mistake ovulation and menstruation to be the same thing when in fact they aren’t Ovulation is when the eggs are saying “hello friends I am here” And menstuation is when the eggs are saying “goodbye friends I am gone” THIS EXPLAINS THE DIFFERENCE 40x BETTER THAN MY ENTIRE SEVENTH GRADE SEX ED CLASS.
dduane: pumpkinlessidjit: jadedgalvanizer: timelordsatan: ambular-d: pumpkinlessidjit: i want there to be an angel that descends from the heavens only when someone is being stupid and the angel just gently places their hand over the person’s mouth and whispers in a voice filled with heavenly beauty and love “no” ANABIEL LOOK IT UP IM SCREECHING LOOK LOOK AT THE...
did-i-hjurt-ouou: doctoradventureboss: katotronik: dean’s anthem: bip bop bam i’ll save sam bip bop damn i didnt save sam go sit in the corner and think about what you did
patrick-stump-hand: pizzaswag: abandoned theme parks look rad as fuck someone go explore one with me you are the first five minutes of supernatural
my final thought before making most decisions: fuck it
eyeslikecominghome: a commercial for dominos was just on and i guess i was lovingly staring at the tv because my mom says to my dad “i wish you still looked at me like haley’s looking at that pizza”
assbutt-of-asgard: imagine if you could telepathically make people orgasm you could make their lives really awkward
hackedmotionsensors: tragicyouthwasgoingdownonme: goldshirts-tightpants: little-goose: Excuse me but Into Darkness has been out for a week, why are there no posts talking about the fact that Cucumberpatch makes the face that suggests he’s going to steal christmas I mean really I HAVE BEEN SITTING HERE FOR A WEEK TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THAT STUPID FACE REMINDED ME OF AND THIS IS...
me: (out shopping, looking all fly with my Marvel comics tote bag featuring several characters)
dude: nice bag.
me: thanks. (keeps on shopping)
dude: do you even know who all those characters are?
me: uh... yeah?
dude: ok then, who's that guy? (points at a character on the bag)
me: wait, are you asking me to prove that I'm enough of a fan enough to carry this bag?
dude: (smirks) that's what I thought. He's called the Silver Surfer. I bet you don't even know his real name.
me: does it matter? (starts to edge away before I start punching throats)
dude: psh, you're not a real fan.
me: (slowly unsheathing my Wolverine claws)
me: how many pairs of chromosomes do humans contain in their cells?
dude: uh... what?
me: explain the function of cellular mitosis?
me: what is the purpose of myelin sheath with regards to the formation of new neural pathways?
dude: what are you even talking about?
me: oh, well it seemed that you were implying that if I don't know as much about the Marvel universe as you do, then I can't possibly be considered a real fan. This is me implying that because you don't know as much about the human body as I do, you can't possibly be considered a real human being.
dude: Um, I... wow. You're right. Have a nice day. (starts to shuffle away)
me: his name is Norrin Radd.
dude: (looks extremely embarrassed)
friendlycloud: hitlervevo: why the fuck cant we text the police lets say there is a murderer in ur house and you’re hiding behind your sofa and you do have your phone with you but you can’t call the police because the murderer might hear you Relevant